This blog entry is brought to you by my 4 year old cousin Makarei! I woke up this morning laughing about how embarrassed I was in December the last time she & I were together. Makarei proved to me that not only "white" children cut up in grocery stores, but my people as well...the spoiled "I'm the only child" I can have it my way, bad a** children that tell their parents what to do on a regular and like fools they do it!
What started off as a quick stop in the store for a few pounds of ground turkey, fruit, vanilla soy milk and bottled water turned into me having to do the "pinch & walk fast"! You read it right, I pinch and walk fast when its not my child ;)
Barely making it through produce Makarei starts to fuss about eating grapes that her mom had not paid for. So I told her, "No, keep it moving", she cut her eyes at me, I brushed it off because shes only 4 and guess what? Her mom thought it was cute that she cut her eyes at a 33 year young woman.
She began to cry Loudly and fell out in the middle of the grocery store!! I was so over it by now and as I was turning to walk away I almost head butt my daughter who is definitely my child because she was trying to walk away as if she wasn't with US. My daughter was giving me this look like, "Mom, please do it! Please stop her from making the only 4 black people in Byerly's look like we did not deserve to be in here."
I smiled at my daughter, she put her iPod head phones back on her ears, smiled and walked away and I kindly walked over to my 4 year old cousin and PINCHED her! Her loud scream turned into a screech of shock and she looked up at me, my eyes were in major squint mode and I said "get it togther"...her mom HOLLERED! Thank you, I need to bring you to the store with me all the time!
Message: Buy the fruit, don't sample! I think its tacky when parents and their children sample every fruit in the market. It makes you look broke & hungry, and that might very well be the case but its still tacky.
Message: Sis, its not cute that your child can dance, sing or rap better then they can walk, read or write. It's not up for debate, its tacky.
Message: No, you don't need me to fly from LA every 2 weeks to go to the store with you because you can't controll a 4 year old. Demonstrate the "Pinching" fingers before you head out and your shopping experience will be a breeze.
I love to read, I read very well! Black people quit rushing out to grab the latest "Urban Fiction" all the time! Explore your intellect once in a blue moon and Read: Rich Like Them The debut from an Esquire scribe who braved snarling guard dogs and secret service agents to gain entree into America's 20 richest neighborhoods, this work of Gonzo Business Self-Help features in-person interviews w/ 50 loaded businessmen. Each explains in lurid detail how they became filthy rich, from reinvesting in their real estate portfolio, to creating a machine that peels shrimp.
Learn why We're still broke and when you make some real money you will not have to use your "pinching fingers", you can hire some one to pinch for you at Amazon.com
~ "O" The Touring Empress
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